How to lead when you feel like giving up

Katie Bell: Hello everybody, welcome back to the Treat Your Business podcast. I’m your host Katie Bell and today we’re going to get real because I want to have a raw and honest conversation. Let’s face it. Running a clinic is not always rainbows and pilates classes, right? There are moments when it feels like the weight of everything is just too much.

[00:00:26] Katie Bell: Too many clients, too many demanding clients, team members, and, you know, one of my Great sayings is that 80 percent of all of your problems will come on two legs. And that is true as a clinic owner because usually it’s your team members or your clients that are causing you issues. Cash flow can be a big challenge in your business and let’s not even mention the never ending to do list.

[00:00:56] Katie Bell: It’s these moments that I think build up over a period of time. And I want you to imagine that you’ve got like this battery of like coping, a coping battery, and it just gets depleted and depleted over a period of time. And it’s when the battery is running on empty, and it’s usually around When we know there’s significant breaks, so we’re all gonna be gearing up to Christmas over the next five or six weeks.

[00:01:28] Katie Bell: Oh my god, no. How many sleeps? Less than 40 sleeps. Ridiculous. But we’re all gonna go all in for whatever reason that is, that we all just go crazy at this time. And it’s when your battery’s completely depleted that you just feel like, You’re going to throw in the towel. This is the time that it really tests you as a leader.

[00:01:51] Katie Bell: If you’re there right now, or you’ve been there before, then this episode is for you. And if you don’t feel like you’re there right now, then I am giving you a huge congratulations. And if you don’t think you’ve ever been there, then amazing, because you are clearly creating great boundaries, you are connecting all the time with the why, you are able to stay in that abundant mindset for 80, 85, 90 percent of the time.

[00:02:21] Katie Bell: But over the next 20 minutes or so, I’m going to share with you some personal stories, some practical strategies because that’s what you’re all here for, and a few hard truths about how to lead when you feel like giving up. Grab a cup of tea. Take a deep breath and let’s dive in.

[00:02:44] Katie Bell: Okay, let’s do a reality check. Let me say at this point, you are not alone. Every clinic owner, every single one, I am sure, have felt like this In some way, at some point, I have been there myself. I remember a a few years ago a few years into my business, when I felt like, I am not sure I can do this anymore.

[00:03:11] Katie Bell: I it was just one of those weeks where, you know when you get out of bed and stub your little toe on the skirting board? And everything else in the day goes to rat shit. It was one of those weeks. Everything just felt you know, patients were cancelling late, they were trying to come out of their Pilates contracts early, team member handed their notice in, another one was off sick, somebody else got an issue my cash flow was tighter than my hamstrings, and it felt like everything was just, around me was falling apart.

[00:03:43] Katie Bell: And I look back at it now and I’m like, wow, you really knew nothing back then Katie, because now I have a huge team and there are so many moving parts that I have to handle. And At the time, I didn’t put any emphasis on on my mindset, and I just thought that I could just work harder, I could just do more, I could just power through it.

[00:04:05] Katie Bell: And what I want you to realize, if you’re feeling like this, I had a wonderful opportunity to grab a quick conversation with somebody on Friday, one of our Elevate members, and she is just the most gorgeous person. She feels like this. She feels her words were, I have no clinic. And we had to remind her that she’s got amazing members of staff and she’s doing, she’s had her biggest year that she’s ever had and she’s moved into packages and she’s out of it more clinically than she’s ever been.

[00:04:37] Katie Bell: Um, she felt like this because somebody within her team has I guess has allowed her to feel like this. And. I wanted to say, you know, I said to her, it’s okay to feel this way, because do you know what? Leadership is tough. It’s really fucking emotional and it’s really messy at times. It’s okay to feel this way.

[00:05:00] Katie Bell: Feel the feelings, because you can’t just be in this positive toxic positivity world where we’re all like, oh my god, yeah, it’s all gonna be great all the time. It’s not. Sometimes, it’s really tough. There are not many people who I think are wired. For leadership, truly we, we call this something that the GWC concept.

[00:05:24] Katie Bell: Do they get it? Do they want it? Do they have the capacity for it? And do they get it? It’s do they have the do they really understand what it takes to be a leader? Do they want it? Is it in every part of them that they want to lead? And do they have the capacity, intellectual capacity, emotional capacity, and time?

[00:05:49] Katie Bell: And being a leader is rare. Being a really good leader is rare, okay? So it’s okay sometimes to feel this way. And here’s the second thing that you need to know is that your feelings do not define your ability to lead. I’m going to say that again. How you’re feeling right now or how you felt in the past around being a leader don’t define your ability to lead.

[00:06:13] Katie Bell: It’s just your feelings. It’s just your own beliefs. What you do next does. So if you’re in that space right now, give yourself permission to feel it, but what I’m really going to encourage you to do is not unpack and sit there, okay? I’m good. I said to this gorgeous client on the phone on Friday, okay, I’m going to give you today to feel all this.

[00:06:38] Katie Bell: Because of this person in your business, which is going to be extracted by the end of today. Give yourself that permission to feel it, but then we have to look at what we do next. You’re not going to stay here. This too will pass. Let’s get clear on what’s really going on. One of the first things, and this is super hard to do when you are a people pleaser, when you are a high achiever, and when you’re a worker bee.

[00:07:06] Katie Bell: I, I am all of those in recovery. And one of the first things that we recommend is to hit pause. Wow. How hard is that? How hard is it to not just keep doing more? And it’s to get clear on, okay, what is actually happening here? Because is this just your mind has run away with itself? You know when somebody pisses you off?

[00:07:31] Katie Bell: And then you have the conversation in your head, don’t you, about how it’s gonna go? And then you start getting yourself aggy about loads of other things that haven’t even happened. But because you’re just in your own head, makes it a whole lot worse. Often when we feel like this, when we feel overwhelmed, it’s because we’re letting everything pile up in our minds.

[00:07:47] Katie Bell: Here is what you need to do. Just write it all down. Sounds really simple, doesn’t it? But literally just brain dump everything that’s bothering you, everything that’s stressing you out, everything that’s making you feel like giving up. Have the, have time. to just put it all on paper. And then, put it into categories.

[00:08:09] Katie Bell: Of all those things that you’ve listed, is it cash flow? Is it a staffing issue? Is it a lack of time for yourself? When you see it written down, it’s often less overwhelming than it feels. But

[00:08:29] Katie Bell: what it allows you to quickly do is work out what is actually the thing that’s keeping me awake at night? What is actually the thing that’s causing me the biggest stress right now? And we can solve that thing first because a lot of the other stuff that we write down will be as a result of that.

[00:08:48] Katie Bell: So write everything down, brain dump, sort it into categories like this can be On the scruffiest piece of paper you’ve ever seen in your life. Or for you green and blues out there, you can make this into colour coordinatorship. Whatever, okay? But it’s just about taking it out of your brain and writing down all the things that maybe you’re tolerating, that you’re putting up with, that is really causing you that stress, making you feel like, is it really worth it?

[00:09:16] Katie Bell: Okay? And then ask yourself, what is the one thing on this piece of paper that is causing me the most stress right now? And we focus on that, solving that thing first. Strategy number two, I call this break the isolation. So how isolating is it as a clinic owner, as a business owner within our industry?

[00:09:41] Katie Bell: Roll back five years ago, I think it was super isolating because there was nobody I felt that was creating a community like we’ve created, that means you can sit in within it and share. what is really going on without feeling like you’re being judged or without feeling like you don’t fit in and actually talk to somebody, lean on them and move forwards.

[00:10:06] Katie Bell: And when we ran Clinic Growth Live a few weeks ago, I’m still on a high from it, I really am, it was about creating I, I said at the beginning that there’s four things that I ask myself at an event like this. How do I want people to think? What do I want people to know? How do I want people to feel and what do I want them to do?

[00:10:25] Katie Bell: And the thing that I said at the beginning was, I want you to think that this is the best event, business event, you have ever been to. I want you to know that there is hope. That when you surround yourself with the right people, things can change. And This is what we are creating. It’s a community of people who are like minded individuals who get it.

[00:10:53] Katie Bell: And some people are in the breakdown stage and some people are in the breakthrough stage and we all it’s normal. We are all there in it together. So when you’re struggling, it’s really easy to retreat and try to deal with it on your own, or talk to your husband or your wife about it, or your partner or whoever, but they don’t really get it.

[00:11:13] Katie Bell: And isolation is the worst thing. Because we are pack people. We are social beings. We have to talk to people. This could be a mentor, it could be your business coach, it could be a trusted friend who understands your world. Not somebody who doesn’t. And a friend that is able to listen without having to give you a solution.

[00:11:37] Katie Bell: I think that’s really powerful. You know, do you want advice in this situation or do you just want me to listen? Because sometimes it’s just voicing frustrations that can help you see the solutions. And if you’re a team owner, you know, you’re, if you’re a leader of a team, you’ve got to lean on them.

[00:11:59] Katie Bell: This week in Thrive, we are meeting for two full strategy days. We have the activate day on one day, which is all about activating your sales strategy. And then the other day we have got elevating your team. And so my elevate members are coming together to work on their leadership skills, work on their team management skills, get their team performing, because that is your ultimate competitive advantage.

[00:12:22] Katie Bell: And one of the first things that we’re going to talk about is vulnerability. Even the word makes me want to vomit. I really have a problem with the word vulnerability. And it’s a problem, it’s a me problem. It’s not a you problem, it’s not the word problem, it’s a me problem. Because I was brought up in a way that meant you really didn’t need to show vulnerability because that would be seen as a weakness.

[00:12:45] Katie Bell: Leaning on team, being vulnerable in front of team, Can be really difficult if you’re, if your natural nature is that, you know, I’m just gonna deal with this by myself. I can do it all. I’m a control freak. I don’t need any help and surely I should be able to do all of this. I can’t show any sign of weakness.

[00:13:06] Katie Bell: I’m a whole host better at this now, but I still have to catch myself. So be transparent with them about what’s going on. Not in a way that panics them. But in a way that shows you trust them, because you might just be surprised by their support and their ideas. And if you can’t be involved in, with a business coach or a mentor, and you can’t lean on your team, then you need to join a community.

[00:13:34] Katie Bell: You need to join our Facebook group, our free Facebook group, and lean on people within there. Or maybe you need to be part of a professional association. If you’re not a part of Physio First, then you absolutely should be. There are so many benefits to being a Physio First member. Because you are then around other clinic owners who’ve been where you, you are, and that can be a game changer.

[00:13:57] Katie Bell: And then strategy number three is about focusing on small wins. When you feel like you just want to give up, We do this all the time within Thrive. We pull them out of their funk and we’re like, okay let’s focus on something different because where your attention goes, energy flows. So if you are focusing on all the things that are not working for you in your business right now, you’re just gonna see more of it.

[00:14:21] Katie Bell: So when everything feels like it’s literally crumbling around you, it’s actually almost impossible sometimes to focus on the small wins, the things that are actually going well. At the end of each day, for a whole week, write down three wins. They can be tiny like, I answered all my emails today. I had a great conversation with a client.

[00:14:41] Katie Bell: They remind you that progress. is happening even if it’s really slow. Rome was not built in a day. A wall, I want you to imagine that your business is like a huge wall and you don’t just build a wall, you build a wall one brick at a time. So you just only need to focus on the next step. And reconnecting with your why.

[00:15:08] Katie Bell: When you’re ready to give up, it’s usually because the big problem here is that you’ve got on this hamster wheel of carnage, let’s be honest, and you’ve lost connection with why you started this in the first place. Like, why did you open your clinic? Who are you helping? What difference are you making in people’s lives?

[00:15:30] Katie Bell: And if you’re really feeling in a funk, just get your Google My Business Profile open and just read all your reviews. Because seeing that impact your work has on others can reignite that spark.

[00:15:44] Katie Bell: And the final strategy is to know when to let go. And here’s the hard truth. Sometimes, The problem isn’t that you’re giving up, it’s that you’re holding on to things that you should let go of. And we see this so often, we see burnt out, exhausted, wired clinic owners because they’re trying to do everything themselves.

[00:16:16] Katie Bell: I am here to tell you that you are not on this planet to play a small game, to live an average life. Who wants to do that? We are here to make massive impact and be rewarded handsomely for it. But the more that you hold on to everything yourself, the less you delegate, whether that is like having a VA for two hours a week or for 20 hours a week, whatever it is, then the more overwhelmed you’re going to feel.

[00:16:49] Katie Bell: And are you doing things, are you holding on to services in your business that no longer align with where you want to be? Like, I’m going to share this story with you. We we have a pilates studio in my clinic and I’m going to say this was like pre Covid maybe, I don’t know. We started and we got loads of people, loads of instructors wanting to do yoga with us.

[00:17:13] Katie Bell: Now I’m a Pilates instructor by trade so I love Pilates. I teach Pilates. I still teach to this day because I choose to, because it’s great fun, not because I need to or have to.

[00:17:24] Katie Bell: So my passion is in Pilates, but anyway, I got loads of instructors, yoga instructors, wanting to run classes within our clinic and I don’t everybody works for me, like they don’t rent my space or anything like that, I can’t be arsed with any of that. So they, so I said, okay, this sounds, this maybe sounds good and yoga’s quite popular so maybe everybody’s going to want to do it.

[00:17:44] Katie Bell: So we added yoga to the timetable. Now what happened over a couple of years actually, is that yoga just became really hard to film. It just became like another thing on the marketing to do list, but it was like such a small percentage of the entire classes, like maybe there was two or three classes a week of 40 classes, that you then have you know, relatively that percentage of energy.

[00:18:09] Katie Bell: To lead it, run it, market it, fill it, all of those kind of things. And I had to get really real with myself, in that, I’m gonna be honest, I fucking hate yoga. I am not a yoga person. I really try with yoga, but I really don’t like it. Am I going to push that service? No, because it didn’t really align with what I wanted, what I believed in.

[00:18:35] Katie Bell: Don’t get me wrong, any yoga instructors listen to this. I think it’s phenomenal, I think you’re amazing, the fact that you can do all those crazy moves. I love it. A part of me doesn’t like it because it highlights absolutely what I need more of in my life. So this is also another me problem, dealing with that.

[00:18:51] Katie Bell: Still not going to be able to do yoga, but I’m working on meditating. But, it was, I was holding on to a service that no longer aligned with my mission. Just created me more hassle, more ag. Because I was worried about the yoga teachers and upsetting them and all of that. So are you clinging to an old way of working that’s no longer effective?

[00:19:09] Katie Bell: Bye. This is massively when it comes to having self employed people who are being paid 3k and you’ve getting zero, or you’re paying yourself a minimum amount. Leadership isn’t about doing it all, it’s about doing what matters most. Whether you are a one man band, whether you are a 20 person team, your job is to cut through the crap and recognize what you need to spend your time on right now that is going to move you closer towards your goal in the simplest way.

[00:19:52] Katie Bell: So, Let’s recap. Get clear on what’s really going on here. Brain dump. Put it all on a piece of paper. Put it into categories. Let’s really find out what’s actually going on. Because, often, the noise isn’t what’s going on. We need to dig to find the real thing. Break the isolation and ask for help. Focus on the small wins every day for at least 7 days to get you out of your funk.

[00:20:21] Katie Bell: There is a lot of science behind that, just trust me in the process, you need to do that. If you want to change the way that you think, believe and act. Reconnect with your why and let go of what is no longer serving you. That also might be people. You’re stronger than you think. The fact that you’re even listening to this episode tells me that you’re committed to leading even when it’s hard.

[00:20:47] Katie Bell: If today’s episode resonated with you then I’d love to hear from you. Drop me a message on social media, email me I don’t know, all the ways that you guys can communicate these days, there’s just a wild amount of options, but if you, or if you know another clinic owner who needs to hear this, share this episode with them, because the more people that are okay with talking about this stuff, the more we can help each other.

[00:21:14] Katie Bell: Thank you for listening to this episode of the Treat Your Business Podcast. Remember, tough times don’t last, but tough leaders do. Keep leading, keep growing, and I’ll see you next week.